Being Human

I'm

NOT

Perfect



I'm not.  I don't have...

The perfect body

The perfect family

The perfect house

The perfect car or

The perfect life


I haven't mentioned that one week ago I actually made, not only goal, but lifetime membership with WW.

I had been waffling about where to set my goal.  Once I realized I could go much farther below my goal than 2 lbs(as long as you're in a healthy BMI) I decided to set it higher and lose another 10-15 lbs to give me some wiggle room, especially with all the festivals and holidays around the corner.

In the past two weeks, if I'm honest, I've really overindulged.

What I realized is that that same little gremlin that put weight on me years ago was back.

It's the gremlin that says "Wow!  Look at you!  You can eat that and not gain weight?!"

So I kept eating naughty foods, as I call them, and miraculously kept maintaining or losing weight.

Then I started to feel superhuman.

I started to think things like "I can eat whatever I want and not gain weight.  The laws of Physics & Physiology don't apply to me".


WRONG!!!!!



The truth is that it eventually catches up with you.  That's exactly what happened to me years ago after I had gotten married.

It's crazy what games our minds play.

Then eventually after I gained weight my thoughts did a 180 and sounded more like this:

"No matter how good I am or what I do to diet or exercise I can't lose weight.  I'll always be like this".

Of course the great thing is that we can always start over and there is always forgiveness.



My son and I were reading a library book I picked up for him called How To Get Unstuck From The Negative Muck:  A Kid's Guide To Getting Rid of Negative Thinking by Lake Sullivan, PhD.

This is basically Cognitive Behavioral Therapy(CBT) for kids.  I'm a HUGE CBT fan because it has really and truly helped me get unstuck in my negative thinking and I want my son to have these tools.

When we were reading this book I was reminded that those negative thoughts that use words like "always", "everything", "never" or "nothing" are a signal that we're engaging in what the book calls All or Nothing Thinking.  The fact is that life isn't just black and white and in most situations things just aren't that binary.

What I know is that I, and so many like me, start getting into a habit of fighting for our limitations.

It may be subconscious but we do this.  Sometimes when I pray I just ask for God to open my mind to understand what I haven't understood before, to see what I haven't seen.

This prayer is always answered.

The other thing I've realized at 42 years of age is that, not only am I not perfect, I don't want to be. 

The ideal of what our society calls perfect is not what God has made me to be.  I was made perfectly imperfect with all that I need for a beautiful life.

I tell my son that God created all of us, on purpose and with purpose.

Irregardless of someone's age, gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, handicap or strength(or any other differences you can imagine) I believe we're all made on purpose just as we are.

God doesn't make mistakes.  EVER.

I think, for me, ours is to be open to all our imperfections, to embrace them and use them to move forward with purpose.

What I know is that when I quit trying to be perfect but rather embrace all of my imperfections and weakness, it's in that moment I feel most powerful and most free.

To give credit where it's due I have to say that reading Brenee Brown's Gifts of Imperfections has really helped me with issue.

What I also know is that it's the only real way to also help other people.

I think when you live authentically people know it because they can feel it and it awakens something in them as well.

What a gift to be with someone who is living authentically as God made them to be.

It's a gift to them and a gift to all of us.

For me, to see this in life is really like seeing the face of God.

It's such a beautiful thing.  It's what I want more of in my life.



So, as I was saying earlier, I'm not perfect.  I don't have the "perfect" body, family, house, car or life but they're the perfect body, family, house, car and life for me and I am so thankful for them all.


In Joy,

Carrie