Why?

Today I admitted to my beautiful WW friends that I'd had a slip last week.

It was funny, really.

My son was sitting at the dinning room table eating a 2 pt Enlightened chocolate fudge bar while I was sitting on the couch eating mini chocolate chips(yes, the full fatty McFatty experience).

So there I was sitting with my hand half way to my mouth ready to pile drive in more chocolate chips when I stopped and looked over at my son eating the fudge bar.

And, I thought "What's wrong with this picture?  He's eating the 2 pt fudge bar and I'm eating full fat chocolate chips".

I stopped, closed the bag and put them away in the pantry.

My leader, Nancy, asked why I stopped.

I hadn't really thought about it before but what I know is that in every moment, in any given behavior on any given day I have a choice.

I have a choice how I choose to show up in my life.

My body will reflect all of my good and all of my not so helpful choices as it so reliably does but I get to choose.

Sometimes those chocolate chips are a planned indulgence and sometimes I actually really and truly only eat 1 tsp and track it but other times it's unplanned binging out of the bag.

But it's like the story of the Prodigal son, you're never too far.

No matter how far we move into self loathing or blame or shame or doubt or hopelessness we're never too far to come back to center and move more fully into Love.

We're never too far gone to make choices that reflect the desires of our hearts.

One of the utmost important things in my life is integrity.

I want to know and see myself as someone who is living and moving and having her being in a way that reflects what she believes.

I don't want to live my life by Default.

I want to live my life by Design.

I want to claim the power I have in the moment to move back to love and the choices that love would make in this life, in this moment in time.

That's why I stopped eating those chocolate chips.

Because I want to be In Purpose and On Purpose in my life.

I want to stand for what I believe in, in the most loving and kind way I know how.

And, I want to remember that my slips don't define me but rather I am defined by the meaning I assign to all the events in my life.

And by Design that is a really beautiful thing.