More Answers To Sabotaging Thoughts

Well, last night I binged. 

I tracked it all and I'm still tracking today but by the time I was going to bed and feeling yuck I realized there's a lot of mental clutter to clear out.

One of the easiest ways for me to clear the clutter is to write out my sabotaging thoughts and then write new, more empowering responses to those thoughts.

I learned this technique from The Beck Diet Solution by Judith Beck PhD.  This is Cognitive Behavioral Therapy for weight loss and it's unbelievably helpful, at least for me.

At this point I'm still trying to sort out exactly what my sabotaging thoughts are so there may be a bit of rambling...

This coming Wednesday is my 44 th birthday.  My husband has planned a special get away to celebrate and I'm looking forward to that but also somewhat anxious about my weight, the temptations I'll face and the desire to splurge on my birthday.

Finding balance with all of these things is sometimes tricky. 


Sabotaging thought:  I've really blown it.  I used all of my weeklies in my first roll over day!  I still have to get through my birthday and I don't want to knuckle down for that.  It would ruin everything.  What's the point of going out if I can't indulge?  How crummy would it be to try to be "good" on my own birthday?  That stinks!  I'm so frustrated!  I'll probably just blow it and be like -300 by the time my points roll over again.  Uggg!!! I feel so defeated.  :(

Response:  I've clearly moved into fear at this point because these thoughts are black and white and leave no room for alternate possibilities or plans.
History has shown me that when I personally look too far in advance I get overwhelmed and move into self sabotage.  I need to focus on the present moment and take it one meal at a time. 
It's always going to be my choice what to eat or not to eat.  The truth is that in my everyday life I do a pretty good job of finding balance- indulge here and cut back there.  What's to say I can't do that again?  Indulging on my birthday is okay as long as I'm okay with it.  I can decide ahead of time what I'm okay with.  Am I okay with a gain for the week?  For staying the same?  Is it really realistic that I lose while I'm doing all these things?  Probably not if what I want is to be able to indulge some. 
I need to make conscious choices and be okay with the consequences of those knowing that after my birthday I can get more focused again. 
What I don't want is to lose the fun of what is supposed to be a special day by spending it worrying about everything and feeling shameful.  I want to be in the present moment and appreciate my life and all the people in it. 
I give thanks in advance and know that no matter what happens, life goes on and it will all be okay. 

Sabotaging thought:  There is a "safe" weight.  There is a weight that I can achieve that will make me okay and make everything in my life okay.  I won't have to worry about things anymore.  I won't have to feel self conscious about how I look.  I'll be safe.

Response:  The truth is that there is no weight that will ever make me safe.  Feeling safe is an inside out job and doing the inner work is the only way to get there.  Moving into gratitude, self love and building my sense of self through other ways will be the building blocks of knowing and living my worth.  It may not happen overnight, in fact it may take quite a while to really build up my self esteem, but it's worth it.  It requires the same dedication that weight loss does.  It also requires the desire and a purposeful intention.  I want to be the person that God made me to be and I want to behold God's unique beauty in others without any sense of competition but rather cooperative companionship and deep appreciation.  There is no limit on Love in this life.  God's Love is infinite.  I just have to keep working on opening my heart to it.  I am grateful for this opportunity and excited to learn more!


If any of you have any sabotaging thoughts that you would like to share I would love to hear them.  I would be happy to write responses or hear the responses you've written for yourself. 

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Have a great day!