"She Can Eat Anything She Wants & Never Gain Weight! It's Not Fair!!!"

Haven't we heard this story over and over again?

You know the one, usually everyone knows at least one person who they envy because "she just has a fast metabolism and can eat whatever she wants and stay thin".

Do you know what I think of that?

It's bull manure.

I don't believe it for a minute.

Sorry to offend but that's just my opinion.

You see all of us are subject to certain immutable principles such as gravity, the laws of motion(physics), and physiology etc.

If you consume more calories than you burn through exercise and metabolism of daily living you will gain weight.  

If the calories you consume are less than that which you burn then you will lose weight.

It's that simple.

Yes, there are a few exceptions to this rule, extenuating circumstances if you will, such as fluid retention in heart failure, kidney disease, lymphedema, Cushing's disease and hypothyroidism to name a few.

What I believe is this- those women or men who seem to eat junk food and stay slim are still creating a calorie deficit.

Yes, there are also a few physiologic problems, malabsorption for one, that can skew this but by and large most of the people you see who are thin are in fact creating a calorie deficit, whether they're conscious of it or not.

So what do they do?

They don't eat a lot of the junk.

You're not following them around day and night tracking everything they consume.

Some of them no doubt go home to eat healthier foods and in smaller portions.

For some they're eating the junk purposely in front of other people to put on a show.

It's the unspoken "See?  I can eat anything I want and look fantastic.  Aren't I cute?  Oh, and please validate me".

One of my guy friends in college used to call this a fishing expedition.

He said he hated it when women were clearly just fishing for compliments in this passive aggressive way and I tend to agree.

What else do they do?

They exercise, sometimes a lot, to counteract what they're eating.

Some people are very transparent about this.

They readily admit "Hey, I exercise so I can eat because I love to eat".

Lastly, we get into the more depressing reasons that we don't all see but certainly exist-

Anorexia

Bulimia(this includes exercise bulimia- working out compulsively as a purge for everything they've consumed)

Even the most put together people on the outside often have a lot going on on the inside that we never see.

What they need is compassion, understanding, love and support.

My Aunt Dee always said no one gets mad without first getting hurt and I believe that's true.

I think almost all self abusive behaviors come from low self esteem and lack of self love which can be due to a multitude of reasons.

But I say all this to reassure you.

There's no magic you're missing out on and they are no better than you are.

We're all doing the best we can with what we have, where we are in the time we're given.

It goes back to what your kidergarten teacher always said "You take care of yourself and let Susie take care of herself".

Don't compare yourself to other people because in the end you cannot compare two so completely beautiful, different and unique individuals.

Instead work on appreciating who you are where you are.