When the Going Gets Tough

Over the holidays, well the whole month of December, I gained 7 lbs.

I told myself in January it was coming off!

So, I'm feeling a little frustrated with myself today.

I've had a hard time getting myself to get more strictly back to tracking and not going over my points.

For me it's always been the same struggle~  I have no problem in the morning or all throughout the day but, boy watch out, when evening comes I'm an eating machine.

Unfortunately the evening is my favorite time to eat.

It's like a reward at the end of the day.

I may eat a good, healthy dinner but my Achilles heel is after dinner.

I want to just keep grazing until it's time to go to bed.  

My house has an open floor plan so the front room is right by the kitchen. 

It's so easy to go back and forth to the pantry.

It's also easy to say to myself(when I'm not tracking) "Oh, it's just a Butterball turkey stick.  They're only 1 pt for one" or "It's just a rice cake.  They're 1 pt".

The problem is that if I'm not tracking I "just 1 pt" myself into a binge.

The truth is that even if it's a low point, healthy food it's still calories and the points still add up.

Isn't frustrating when you want to do better and know how but you can't get your head in the right place?

That's where I've been.  

I know what I'm doing even when I'm in the midst of doing it.  

I think we all do but we want to ignore it so our id can have a play day and do what it wants to do in the moment, eat.

Part of the reason I'm struggling right now is because the holidays were a little stressful for me and I threw caution to the wind.

I was very permissive with myself and, really in some ways I think it's okay.

I had a lot going on and I was doing the best I could at the time.

The problem is that it feels twice as hard to go from eating whatever you want for a whole month and then getting back on plan in comparison to having just one or two days of falling off the wagon and getting back on plan.

It's like the more you've practiced bad habits the easier they are to repeat and the more you practice good habits the easier those are to continue.  

When I'm at this juncture and I know I have got to make a change there's really only one thing that will personally get me there and that's CBT(cognitive behavioral therapy).  

If you're not familiar with it and didn't read my previous post on it you can find it here.

So, that's my obvious next step.  

I intend to write down some of my personal CBT cards with those sabotaging thoughts and responses so stay tuned.  

Until then it's one day at a time.  

Blessings,

Carrie