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| My son suggested this pic as he thought it would make other people feel good. |
I am continually astonished at the number of people who tell me that they've been on the receiving end of hateful, disparaging words.
And it breaks my heart a little each time I read it.
It utterly flabbergasts me that anyone would speak to another human being the way some people do.
Of course I think much of this is done behind the safety of the computer on social media.
This is clearly not okay.
Unlike the old phrase we were taught as kids words really do harm and we need to think carefully before using them.
If you don't have anything nice to say it's time to wait until you can come back and discuss things rationally.
We need the same rule we have for preventing child abuse. If you feel yourself losing control count to ten and leave the room.
Here's the thing I want to say- people who say such hateful things and do harmful things are clearly not coming from a grounded and healthy place.
You don't grow up being loved and being given a good example of loving and respecting one another and then go out and harm another person.
I'm not denying that we each have both dark and light inside but I think that such extreme examples usually come from a place of unhealthy childhoods, role models and homes.
It's not about making excuses for them but rather recognizing that what other people think of you is none of your business.
We don't just simply "forgive and forget" because we don't forget.
To think that we just forget is ludicrous but we pray and we turn away from the hate toward our Truth.
And the Truth for me is that God made each of us on purpose.
We are all special.
Some of us grow up with every need provided and loads of love.
And, some of us sadly grow up without homes or with troubled homes devoid of love.
What we have to realize is that some people grow up in situations where speaking hate is their base language.
They are working with an entirely different operating system, speaking a different language.
They can't be "normal" because they don't even understand or know what normal looks like.
We also have to come to a place of understanding that our old ideas of forgiveness are antiquated.
Forgiveness doesn't mean that what they did is okay on any level.
You don't condone their behavior but rather make a conscious decision to let go of the hate that poisons you.
Phrases like "You make me mad" are coming from places in consciousness where we give our power away.
You can't make me mad.
I have to choose it.
We have to turn away from the hate towards our Truth.
We need to stay safe and set healthy boundaries and move towards the Light within.
If you're in a situation that has or could come to physical harm it is time to get out and go to a safe place.
Several years ago I remember someone saying something hateful to me and it was utterly devastating at the time but I've learned to let go of the hate.
Sometimes it may feel impossible to let go.
At that point I think you have to just want to want to let go and make that your prayer.
I'd like to think maybe someday we wouldn't hear these stories anymore but I don't know that that's realistic.
But, like Viktor Frankl found, we get to choose what we think.
When all other choices are taken away from us we get to choose our thoughts and we get to decide what meaning we assign the events in our lives.
Ours is to choose stories that uplift us and move us forward toward the Light and what we were all born to be.
Blessings,
Carrie
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