Pleasure & Pain

So as 2016 winds down to a close I am reminiscent of the year gone by but also looking forward to the New Year and the possibilities it brings.

Again, I know some people who are planning on starting their new lifestyle changes at New Year's and so I wanted to write about mindset for my friends.

I'm going to start off with a question you can ask yourself.

When you think about the changes you want to make in your life what is your driving motivation?

In other words what has spurred you on to wanting to make a change to begin with?

Did your doctor tell you that you have high blood pressure, cholesterol or blood sugar?

Are you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired?

Do you want to feel more attractive?

Do you want to have more energy to play with your kids or grand-kids?

Think about your answers and then step back and take another look at the questions and answers here.

Do you notice anything different between the first two and the last two questions?

The difference, in a round about way, is pleasure and pain.

I listened to a Tony Robbins talk once and he said that with every thought we think, action we take, we're either moving towards pleasure or running away from pain.

I thought this was a very interesting concept and all too true.

When I wrote out my response cards for sabotaging thoughts(see my post on CBT for weight loss) I actually noticed that most of my cards revolved around running away from pain.

Wanting to avoid a lecture and new medication at your next doctor's visit?  That's running away from pain.

But if we reword this it might sound more like this~

I am working towards improved health and vitality.  That's more in the category of moving towards pleasure.

Tony Robbins says that if we want to change or make a habit we have to either give a very negative attachment to performing the bad habit or create more pleasure by performing the new habit.

I'm still wrapping my head around ways we can do this but one clear way is in how we word this even in our own minds.

I suggest taking every reason you want to lose weight and looking at that, deciding if those statements are moving towards pleasure or away from pain and then rewording the more painful statements to moving towards pleasure.

Here are some of the reasons I wanted to lose weight:

1. I'm tired of feeling bad about myself, of being ashamed of how I look.

2. I'm tired of feeling tired and weak.

3.  I want to look better in my clothes.  I want to be able to buy clothes that are actually attractive and not just tent like.

4. I want to have more energy to play with my son.  I don't want to be a "couch mom".

5. I want to be able to do more and have more confidence when I do it.

6. I want to age well.  I don't want to grow into disability.  I want to stay strong and independent for as long as I can.

7. I want to honor my God and my body temple.

8. I want to know what it feels like again to be attractive.


Anyway, these are just a few of mine.  Some of these are redundant but you get the idea.  You can also pretty easily see the pleasure and the pain.

As I look to the New Year I'm really trying to move into a place of excitement at the possibilities this New Year may bring for me.

I hope that no matter what stage of change you find yourself in you will do the same.

I believe we're much more likely to be successful and to truly transform when we move towards pleasure.

Pain is certainly useful in a way.  It helps us know what we don't want and then we can get more clear about what we do want.

So look for the gift in every experience when you can, try to move towards pleasure and love yourself through every stage.

Hearty Blessings for the New Year to come!