When Tomorrow Is Too Much

I have been dealing with several life stressors lately. 

These are the kind that usually lead to a binge. 

And,...  they did.

Last week I was off the rails like I haven't been in two years. 

We were also out of town four out of the last six weekends and I'm just plain tired.

The one plus is that I've been tracking much more consistently through all of this.

And the byproduct is that it helps your brain finally start to just see the food and those points without any moral value assignment or judgement.

So often I still catch myself feeling guilty or "bad" for the choices I make in regards to food. 

It's a very, very old habit, one I've been practicing for years.

So, I guess it's no surprise it's going to take more than a month or one year to get over it.

I think it's like everything else in life, it just takes practice.

It takes falling and picking yourself back up again, over, and over and over.

The other thing I've been thinking about during all of the crazy lately is that, this is real life.

How many times in your own life did you think about starting a new diet or health plan only to find yourself coming up against a lot of buts...

"Oh, I could start now but it's almost Halloween.  There's going to be tons of candy around to tempt me. 

I could start at Thanksgiving but who am I kidding?  I mean that's a whole holiday built around bingeing!  Not a good time to start.

I could start at Christmas but, I mean who could ever start something then?"

There are really hundreds of other stories or reasons we have why we can't do the work of healthy living.

So, in the midst of my crazy I realized that this is just another opportunity to figure out how I can deal.

What I found is that when I'm severely anxious about something I can't eat.

I had one day last week when I went to bed with 19 pts left because I felt nauseous all day.

But, then after the stress comes down to defcon 4 then I'm just relaxed enough to start bingeing to numb out.

I'd love to tell you I've figured out just how not to do that but I haven't yet.

When it's like defcon 3 or less I have no problem. 

I have a million tactics for that like..

* taking a walk
*soaking in a hot tub with candles
*good music
*prayer
*meditation
*talking to a friend or counselor
*journaling

The list goes on and it's a very effective list for me when the stress is mild to moderate.

But, I'm still learning how to handle heavier stress.  I don't really want a lot of practice but sometimes you can't avoid it.

Many of my friends and family are also dealing with their own stressors and in this moment my heart goes out to them. 

Sometimes the thing that can help shift me the most when I'm down is trying to help someone else.

Often when I drive into work I pray and visualize my day in the car.  I see myself being of service and truly enjoying all the people I'm interacting with. 

Sometimes when you feel you have the least to give you may find you have the most to give and it can truly change someone else's life experience. 

So we speak with kindness to ourselves and others. 

We stop focusing on every bad thing that happened yesterday and every awful thing that could happen tomorrow because that's just too much.

We start focusing on this present moment.  I know it's sometimes easier said than done but, again, it's an opportunity for compassion for ourselves and others. 

And, you know the old saying don't you?

Yesterday is history.

Tomorrow is a mystery.

Today, is a gift.