Staying the Course

When I first started WW's Freestyle program I had two weeks in a row of losses.

They weren't large but they were still losses.  Keep in mind I was finally really tracking everything.

This has taken me MONTHS to do.  It was one of those situations in which I kept saying "NOW, I'm going to get back on track and I'm going to track everyday!".

But I didn't.

It will forever be a mystery to me why, when I was losing, it wasn't even a thought in my mind to NOT track and after I made Lifetime I couldn't seem to get myself to track anything.

This is why we see "No finish line!" mantras splattered all over CONNECT.  I suppose if I sorted the mystery of maintenance out I'd be a gagillionaire.  I had always heard maintaining was harder than losing but I couldn't wrap my brain around it.  It seemed so illogical but if you think about it, the losing phase has definite advantages; constant awards for losses of 5 lbs or more, 5% loss, 10% loss and don't forget the thrill of seeing that number on the scale go down every time.

What then do you do when you finally make your goal?  All I can say to answer that question is that you keep doing what you've been doing but you work hard to find motivation because when the shiny wears off the real work begins.  I don't think we talk about this enough in our society but we should be.

So, back to my own story.  Last week was the third solid, consecutive week that I really, honestly tracked everything and even got in more exercise than usual.

And, when I went to the scale, I had GAINED 2 lbs.

I would love to tell you that I'm beyond letting the scale rattle me these days but that would be a lie.

I think the real problem is that it had taken me so very long to really and truly get back on track that I felt I deserved a win.  I had worked hard for it after all and if I looked back on my history with WW it was absolutely clear that when I track, exercise and stay within my points, I lose.

Not this time.

And that was so hard for me mentally.  My head was filled with colossal fears that what used to work no longer worked, that I was once again stuck and no matter how much effort I put in I wouldn't lose.

They're all consuming, horrible fears.

At this point it would've been really easy for me to throw in the towel and say "I give up".

But I haven't.  I understand that this is for life and I've been really holding tight to my Why's.

I don't know if I'll have lost this week but I do know I've done the work.

This weekend I've even looked back on my tracker to 2016 when I was at goal.

Unfortunately it wasn't much help because the truth is that I'm not eating any differently than I was before.  The only difference is the new, freestyle plan.  I think it's possible that not portioning all the "free" foods has caused me to gain.  And so I made a conscious decision to change things up.

I decided if I had free food to make sure and portion it.  In addition, this weekend I made turkey tacos and I purposely used 90% lean ground turkey instead of the "free" 98% lean turkey.

The truth is I like the taste way better and counting the points feels safe to me at this time.

We'll see how it all turns out on Tuesday but for now...

I'm staying the course.

And ultimately the real difference between success in maintenance and not is doing just that.