Revelations

So, you may remember me mentioning that I had signed myself up for a 100 Days of Weight Loss Challenge on Connect.

There was another member who was posting this daily and a few of us were following along and trying to do the exercises in the book.

Here's what happened- that member stopped posting after about day 12 or so, I think in large part due to poor response.

What I realized is that I'm kind of emotionally lazy. After she quit posting I thought I'd keep it up because it really was helping me but I didn't.

So, after a week of doing nothing and knowing I needed to do something I decided to start posting it myself on Connect.

And you know what?  It's been really helpful for me.  I think I got to the point of posting only for me but have picked up friends along the way who can relate to what I'm saying and that's a really great feeling.

Knowing you're not alone is powerful.

So, right now I'm on Day 38 of the book and today's post is called Food as Power.

When I first read this I didn't relate with it at all.  I really didn't think of food as power in any way but I kept an open mind.  I thought on it and I finally had a breakthrough.

Normally, when I'm out in public at a restaurant I always ask for a booth because sitting at a table makes me feel like I'm on display and everyone is watching me.

At restaurants I'm a little self conscious about eating in front of other people.  This has definitely improved since I've lost weight but it's still something I notice.

But, when I'm at a party or larger social gathering with people I'm not as close to or people I don't know as well then it's different.

In those situations I do eat because it gives me something to do and helps me feel as though I at least look like I fit in when I clearly don't feel as though I do.

In that situation food is power for me and comfort.  It makes me feel blanketed and safe.

There was another revelation this morning though.  Last night I went way over.  I had had like three days in a row of doing really, really well and then yesterday we were out and from lunch till I laid my head down in bed I was bingeing.

What I realized as I thought about it this morning is that I subconsciously give myself permission after having a few days where I stay on plan.

I think that after three days of good behavior I start thinking I can go ahead and eat whatever I want because I've built up a credit for it.

And the thing that really frustrates me is that I didn't do most of these things before I made goal.  Before making goal I was so honest with my tracking, even when it was really bad.

After making goal I just seemed to do a mental somersault and have been all upside down about it.

But I've come to the realization that this is just the next step.  In some ways I think we need to change our terminology.  The word "goal" makes you feel as though you've crossed the finish line and you're done.  You've fought the good fight and now you can stop.

But it doesn't work that way.  You keep going,... but it's different.

In my opinion WW should offer a special class for those who make goal.  It would be a transitioning class to move from goal to Lifetime and what that means.

It would be a class to address the pitfalls and problems and mind games.

I think this would serve a lot of people.

In the States especially we're geared toward achievement.  It's not a bad thing per se but it's only half of the story.  It strikes me as similar to our mindset toward youth worship.  If you market and talk to only those in their 20's you're leaving out 2/3 or 3/4 of the population.  That's ridiculous even for business.

What about the rest of the story?  What about the rest of your life?

What we should be doing is looking for and shining the spotlight on the blessing of EVERY age and every level of change.

We should support the WHOLE person, not just those who are losing or young or whatever it may be.
We should know our worth at every age and stage.  Ultimately that is my goal.  It's something I work toward knowing, not only for myself, but for all others around me because the truth is that we all have something valuable to offer.

And by ignoring large segments of people based on age, development stage, race etc we're all missing out.

I always say the mind of God is infinite.  The mind of fear is finite.

I believe this with my whole heart.  For me personally God is the most pure and perfect, complete and all inclusive love.

God leaves no one out.

And that's what I want to strive to be like.  I don't want to leave others out or myself.

I want to embrace every part of you and me with love.