The Only Thing That Matters

I've been going on Connect more and more partly because it inspires me but also because I find it interesting to see the different stages of change that people are in and their perspectives.

Let's face it- it's always easier to see unhelpful thinking in others than it is ourselves.

It actually helps me re-frame some of my own backward thinking when I'm trying to help someone else.

By the way, if you're looking for me on WW's Connect you can do a member search for clg12225.

I'm having fun posting there.

What I really wanted to get to today were the repetitive comments I see there in regards to all of the "shouldn't have's".

One woman talked about how she has finally made peace with not getting her housework done because she has small children.

Another was traveling abroad to visit family.

She was feeling guilty for not sticking to her plan, not getting her exercise in and eating all sorts of indulgent foods.

To these people and these situations I would answer by asking a question.

How do you think you're going to feel about this when you're about to die?

I mean, if you knew you were going to die tomorrow or in six months, how would you feel about these things?

I'd wager they wouldn't matter much at all in the scheme of things.

Certainly I won't speak for anyone else but I can speak for myself.

What I know for sure is that when I die I won't be thinking about the time I went over on my points, the time I gained back my weight, the times I didn't exercise or when my house was left a mess.

On the contrary, I think I'd be thinking "Why did I worry so much about that?  Why didn't I spend more time with my son and family instead of the dishes?  Why didn't I realize how precious each and every moment already was, as is?  Why didn't I live as though I knew that the only thing that ever truly matters in this life is LOVE?"

Sometimes I play a little game with myself.  I imagine myself twenty years older, looking back to the age I am now and seeing things through a 63 year old perspective instead of a 43 year old one.

There are times it literally takes my breath away because this shifts my thinking, my perspective so quickly.

I think things like "What are you moping about?!  You're young and you're healthy and beautiful and vibrant!  Why aren't you getting out there more and living life?!  Why are you wasting your time worrying about inconsequential things?".

When I look at my son from a 63 old perspective it kind of shreds me because I realize he would be grown up and moved out by then, living his own life with a family of his own.

I think about how, in some ways, I'd give anything to go back and have just a few more moments with him as a child who still calls me Mommy and sits on my lap, hugs and kisses me.

I think about my grandparents in their 90's now who wouldn't be alive then.

I think about my parents and all of my friends, all the unknowns twenty years has in store.

Now, I'm not trying to get all maudlin here and I'm not saying we shouldn't strive for optimal health but I am trying to tell you not to beat yourself up when you slip because we all do.

I'm trying to bring some levity and balance to the situation.

And speaking of levity...

Do you really think that the first thing God says to you when you die is "Hey, you really screwed it all up with those Smart Points.  Man, that one day on your diet, boy, that was awful!  You really didn't get enough exercise in and your house was such a dump....".

Of course I'm totally laughing here.  See?  When you put it like that you can see how silly it all sounds.

So, the next time you're getting down on yourself ask yourself this simple little question:

If I knew I'd die tomorrow would this matter?

If you didn't hear it before, the only thing that does truly matter in this life is LOVE.

Here's to spending our days in love.  :)

~Carrie